Trina Hall Lifting You Up Higher and Higher
Letting go is extremely difficult and is easier said than done. Many people have trouble letting go, especially when there is emotional pain or disappointment. You get “stuck”. There is a heavy weight from the past that you continue to carry, making it challenging to move forward.
I had a private message from a friend a couple of weeks ago asking me how I went about letting go of the past. I also have another dear friend that continues to have trouble letting go of thoughts of a certain person. These thoughts bring about nothing but negative emotions, but still he continues to torture himself. You may have someone in your life who continually brings up past issues that make it more difficult to move on and be completely happy. You are not alone if you or someone close to you is having trouble letting go.
People are at different stages throughout this journey. Many people can stay stagnant for years. I know, because I have been there. People would spend countless hours giving me uplifting talks and reasons to move forward, but I would still be in the exact same place. I now realize why there are so many people talking or writing books, songs and movies about letting go. No matter how many people talk about this untimely topic, ultimately the work is up to you. When you are ready and have had enough, you will let go of your past for good. With me, I heard the same thing a thousand times, but then one day, I finally got it! Hopefully, this message is received at just the right time or just the right way that you need to hear it.
LIVE IN THE MOMENT:
It is not as important how people were in the past, as it is who they are today. If a person has changed or has grown from a past experience or relationship, enjoy that person. How are people treating you right now? How are you feeling right now? What is the situation right now? This moment is all we have control of. We cannot change or erase the past and nothing is guaranteed in the future.
LEAVE PAST RELATIONSHIPS IN THE PAST:
Are you or someone else continually bringing up an ex that is no longer relevant? Let that go, before it ruins something really good…period.
FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY TO LETTING GO:
Forgiveness does not mean that the behavior or action of the hurtful person is acceptable. You are choosing to let go of the pain it caused you. This one helped me…ACCEPT AN APOLOGY THAT YOU WILL NEVER GET!
SPEND TIME ALONE:
Take some time to be by yourself. It is important that you have no external distractions telling you how you should think, feel or act. How do you “really” feel? Be truthful and honest with yourself. There is no need for masks or pretending…be real. It can be a hard reality, but you will have the truth in front of you. This will help you become clear of what is no longer serving your best interest.
ACCEPT YOUR REALITY:
People come and go in your life. Circumstances do not always stay the same. You may even have to let go of your entire identity. Your whole life may have been turned upside down. You might not like it or agree with, but it may be your reality. Write it down, acknowledge it or talk about it to a friend. Do whatever you need to do and then let it go. I care about you and I am giving you “tough” love. It does not mean that you do not have a heart or care about the things or people you are letting go of. It means you are finally caring enough about yourself to not let it control or hinder your life. Appreciate the gifts that all of these experiences have given you. Use these lessons learned and move towards your amazing future.
You have a conscious choice. Do you still want the past to affect your life? Letting go is hard and takes courage. We hold on to it because it is our routine or it becomes familiar to us.Do not be afraid to let go of the things or people that no longer serve your best interest or higher purpose. If it is weighing you down and preventing you from your full potential…let it go. Your life and happiness is worth more than that. Be free to love and live life fully!
Trina, you are truly talking about my situation!! There is no doubt about it, you must let it go, or you will constantly pull yourself apart, as if you are guilty, of the problem. Here is where you need an understanding, sympathetic friend to talk if through!! Remember, there is always someone out there to help and give you the energy, to move on with your life!!!!
Don,
I am happy that you are able to resonate with this blog and hopeful you find it helpful. It sounds like you understand the importance of letting go so that you no longer “pull yourself apart”. Having a sympathetic friend to help you release and let go is a wonderful gift. Wishing you nothing but the best…you deserve it! xoxo
Beautiful and wise as always, thanks Trina! Love, Kristina
Thank you Kristina! I always appreciate your encouragement and support. You loving words are a validation that I am following the right path. Love Trina xoxo
What can you do when you can’t let go of the love of your life departed 23 years ago?
Hi Vince,
I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your wife. This is a difficult question to answer, especially since I do not know the entire situation. Regardless, you clearly love your wife. She must have been an amazing woman; giving you many reasons to hold on to her for 23 years.
Your question to me implies that you are having trouble moving forward from your devastating loss. Maybe your time together got cut too short? Maybe there were things left unsaid or undone? There may be relentless guilt, regret, sadness etc. If you feel any of these negative emotions, especially for 23 years, you may be ready to let go of those negative emotions. Writing a letter to your wife is a great way to provide release and some sense of closure. Write down all the things that you want to say to your wife and all the things that you unfortunately never had the chance to say. Do not hold back and let it all out. Writing is an extremely healing outlet. Many people, including myself use this form of release. In fact many great songs, poems and movies have been created by releasing pain through writing.
Also, if you are hanging on to old clothing or items, that are making you sad or bringing out negative feelings, do not feel guilty for giving them away to someone in need. It feels good to help someone less fortunate. If something is making you sad, get rid of it or put it out of sight. If it makes you feel good or happy, there is nothing wrong with keeping it.
I believe that when you cross over to the other side, there is no pain, no judgement and no blame…just pure, unconditional love. If you believe this also, it may give you a little strength to move forward and open your heart to the unexpected gifts that life has to offer. (I can share a 500 word story I wrote after my mother passed away, if you would like, which may give you insight to my belief).
Letting go does NOT mean that you no longer love your wife. Without a doubt, you have proven your undying love for her. If I can tell how much you love your wife from your one sentence, then I can reassure you that your wife knows and would want you to be happy. Anyone that truly cares about you would want you to be happy.
The best thing to do is live in the moment. You cannot change the past or control the future. All we truly have is this moment. Focus on all the happiness and the gift of love that your wife has given you. Use this gift of love to open up your heart and embrace each moment. Let go of any pain, guilt, regret etc. If you focus on positive things and go out and do things you love to do, your life will unfold in a way that provides you with more joy and love.
Please do not hesitate to contact me during this process.
Sending you lots of love and light,
Trina xo