If you are independent and self-sufficient…asking for help can be the hardest thing in the world. You are the one that people always count on. You are strong. You can do everything on your own. You do not need help. Even if you are doing things the hard way, you are happy because you are proving to yourself and everyone around that you can do it on your own. If you are like this then it can be extremely difficult to admit when you need help. It may be unfathomable to ask for help and to accept help.
ADMITTING YOU NEED HELP
You can be in denial for a long time. It is hard to admit to yourself that you need help. It is even harder to admit to others. Especially if you have created a pattern of doing every single thing on your own. You cannot tell them that you now are the one needing help? You may feel like a failure. You may be afraid of being a burden. You do not want to bother anyone. You are a positive person and do not want to bring anyone down.
It is impossible to go through life doing everything on your own. It is much harder and not very much fun. Asking for help, eases the burden.
ASKING FOR HELP
If you need or want help, then ask for it. Do not wait until it is too late and becomes an even bigger problem. Be vulnerable. Are you worried that people will think that you are not as strong as you appear to be? You do not think that of others when you help them. So why is it any different when you need them to help you? It takes great strength and courage to ask for help! Let others see the “true” you and be there for you. Show others that you are human and have feelings, struggles and fears, just like everyone else. You do not have to pretend that you are Superman/woman. Be authentic. Be free to be yourself and allow others to really get to know you. The right people will love you even more for this.
You will learn a valuable lesson when you ask for help. You will find out which family members and friends will be there for you. People who truly care about you, want to help you. They want to see you happy. They want to ease your struggles.
ACCEPTING AND RECEIVING HELP
This is the hardest part. Especially if you are the one always used to helping or giving. To be on the other end, may seems foreign and unsettling. It can also be very humbling.
Yes you are able to do it yourself. You have proven it many times over. There is nothing wrong with accepting help. Why is it acceptable when you are always there for people, but have problems receiving help for yourself? You know that joy you feel when you have helped make a difference in someone’s life? When you have helped lift a great burden? Why are you depriving another person from doing the same for you and having the same feeling???
Wow! Here is a concept! There is a beautifully balanced cycle. It is not all give, give, give or take, take, take. You may find these relationships to be only one-sided. If you only give without receiving, then you will find yourself attracting mainly “Takers”. This works for awhile, since it fulfills your desire to give, help and please. Quite often though, these “Takers” only take. When you need them, they are not there. When you no longer give, they will move on to someone else,
There is a healthy balance of giving and receiving. I am not meaning that you need to keep a tab in order to make sure. It’s a feeling, that both of you are there for one another in a time of need. There is a mutual respect and appreciation. There is no taking for granted or expectation. Your life becomes easier and happier because you become a team and work together.
Who would have ever thought that it was this simple??? There is nothing wrong with balancing your cycle. It requires undoing years of internal programming and changing the way you think. Relationships are not one-sided. Healthy relationship are two-sided.
By asking for help, you will find out much more quickly, who are the ones that you can count on and are there for you. Whether it is for support, assistance, guidance or advice, let people help you. Your life will be easier and happier. Your relationships will be much deeper and more authentic. You are not thinking badly of the people you are helping, so let others feel that same joy. Your life does not have to be such a struggle.